It begins with sponsorship

During confession one Wednesday, I confessed to a persistent craving for alcohol. The first thing the priest said to me was, “How are your relationships?”

My knee-jerk reaction was to say, “Fine.” But the priest allowed me to reconsider. It didn’t take long for the Lord to put one word on my heart: struggling. In the quiet room at the front of the church, I learned from an experienced priest that we crave sin, like addicts, and it is difficult to overcome our addictions without good, healthy relationships.

This is a fundamental truth in Alcoholics Anonymous: Addiction can’t be overcome alone. We’re told to seek the help of a higher power, but to recover, we need to attend meetings, shake hands, call people, volunteer and be part of a greater community. And we are called to seek sponsorship.

A sponsor is someone who walks with you in the recovery program. In its document “Questions & Answers on Sponsorship,” Alcoholics Anonymous defines a sponsor as “A person who vouches for you, presents you as being suitable for membership (in A.A.)” The process of sponsorship is, “An alcoholic who has made some progress in the recovery program shares that experience on a continuous, individual basis with another alcoholic who is attempting to attain or maintain sobriety through A.A.”

The Q&A document goes on to explain that those who have recovered in the program want to share what they have learned with other alcoholics. “We know from experience that our own sobriety is greatly strengthened when we give it away!” the document points out. But also, sponsorship can be the responsibility of the group as a whole to help newcomers.

What struck me was the first sentence in another document about sponsorship on Alcoholics Anonymous’ website at aa.org: “Alcoholics Anonymous began with sponsorship.”

It began with two alcoholics seeking a relationship, vouching for each other and setting off with the same end in mind.

Father Joseph Bambenek, who is leading the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis’ Office for the Renewal of Structures, said to me, “We are not meant to be Christians alone. Healthy relationships with people help us brace against the lows of an appealing escape. … It’s a sacrifice to stand in the breach and walk with somebody.”

Saul, walking blindly into Damascus, didn’t know what awaited him there. And Ananias, a Christian called by God, must have felt fear that he was being asked by divine authority to seek out Saul of Tarsus, the man known for persecuting, jailing and killing Christians. Yet Ananias trusted God, took courage, and went looking for Saul. It was his responsibility to “welcome the newcomer,” to “(l)ay his hands on him” (Acts 9:1-22) and vouch for Saul.

“Laying his hands on him, he (Ananias) said, ‘Saul, my brother, the Lord has sent me, Jesus who appeared to you on the way by which you came, that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.’ Immediately things like scales fell from his eyes and he regained his sight. He got up and was baptized, and when he had eaten, he recovered his strength” (Acts 9:1-22).

Every program that uses the 12 steps — Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Food Addicts Anonymous, Al-Anon, Nar-Anon — is structured around relationships. Paul’s conversion and restoration reveal to us that our Catholic faith may begin with an encounter with Jesus, but it continues through relationships with others. Through relationships, we combat our cravings for sin, which are addictive in nature, like alcohol and other substances. Grace in accountability also goes both ways. Paul needed Ananias, not only to baptize him but to help him away from his broken past. And Ananias, likewise, needed Saul in order for Ananias to step out in faith and in courage to grow in love for Christ.

“Relationships don’t take away physical cravings, but they make it easier to take the next step,” Father Bambenek said. “Stepping out in faith strengthens us. Each step helps us trust God more the next time he asks us to trust him.”

Walking with others in their addictions — to sin or substances — allows Jesus, the way, the truth and the light (Jn. 14:6) to glow like hot coals in the people with whom we share this journey. Paul and Ananias are saints in heaven, and their journey to God was marked by a moment in which they shared a relationship, were strengthened by it, and walked together away from evil and more deeply into their love for Christ.