The longer I live, the more I find that life is filled with times of transformation that call us to conversion.
We can highlight events in our lives that were transformative, and maybe we can reflect on how God was working through those moments, and whether we answered God’s call at that point. We might find that many times, when we have not stepped up to the plate, it was because of our own feelings of inadequacy. We either felt lethargic in our spirituality or we felt that we were not gifted enough, or we felt that we were too morally bankrupt to think how God could possibly have called us. There might be times that God was calling us, but we were too oblivious to notice because we either didn’t care or we had an agenda that was contrary to God’s will.
My own life is an example of all of this. I was not known as an “older vocation” for nothing. I think of all the times God was there, all the great events in my life which helped define who I am today. In each of those events, God was calling. There were those times when I said, “Here I am, send me!” Then there were those times when I said, “Depart from me Lord, for I am a sinful man.” Even though I have been Catholic all my life, I come as a convert, because the conversion process is ongoing. God still is calling today, and there are days when I say, “Here I am, send me,” and other days when I say, “Depart from me Lord, for I am a sinful man.”
There are times when our spirit just drifts along for the ride. But God calls each of us to conversion, to have a spiritual awakening. This spiritual awakening can happen anywhere. It can happen in a place of worship. It can happen on the road. It can happen on the seashore. In fact, our readings this Sunday feature three moments of spiritual awakening in those very places.
Isaiah has a powerful vision of the holiness of God that will change his life. He realizes that not only the Temple but the whole world is filled with God’s glory. God is not just a God of the Temple but the God of history, of the rise and fall of kingdoms, of the ebb and flow of international politics. And St. Paul remembers the experience of God he had on the road to Damascus.
Jesus tells Peter to go out into the deep water for a catch. Peter was less than thrilled with the idea but did it anyway. Peter was overwhelmed by the miracle that happened there. He saw the greatness of Christ in the presence of a smelly, sinful fisherman, and he could not see his role in the glory of Christ. Whatever his limitations, in obeying Christ, Peter answered the call of Christ to further the kingdom of God.
The Temple, the road and the seashore — three different settings revealed the majesty of God. Three people converted, three people who experienced a spiritual awakening.
God works miracles in our lives all the time, in the many different events that make us who we are today. Can we recognize it, or are we oblivious? If we do recognize it, do we see it as a call to conversion, a spiritual awakening? If we do recognize God calling us, what is our response? “Depart from me Lord, for I am a sinner.” Or, “Here I am, send me.”
Father Beeson is parochial vicar of St. Olaf in Minneapolis.
Sunday, Feb. 9
Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time
