The prayers offered during the celebration of the sacrament of marriage reveal the Church’s theology and understanding of the sacrament. It is wise to read or listen to the words carefully and reflect on the spiritual messages they convey. This column focuses on the opening prayer.
THE COLLECT
The collect is the first or opening prayer. It is addressed to God and says, “uphold what you have established for the increase of the human race.” God established the institution of marriage. God is the creative genius, the master designer. The natural order of creation reveals God’s plan for the earth and the people who inhabit it. God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Gn 2:18), so “Male and female he created them” (Gn 1:27) and explained that “a man … clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body” (Gn 2:24).
The prayer makes a request, “Uphold (this marriage).” Evil forces will assault the newly married couple. The devil is pleased when there is conflict and division, and even happier when a marriage fails. The petition asks God to give husband and wife the divine assistance they will need to persevere, particularly when they are under attack and it seems like they are sinking or falling.
The collect states that marriage is “for the increase of the human race.” God said, “Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth” (Gn 1:28). Marriage is “ordained for the procreation and education of children” (Gaudium et Spes, No. 48). The love between a wife and husband is not to be inwardly directed and is not solely for themselves, but to extend beyond themselves. Their love for each other bubbles up and overflows, so much so that it is open and fruitful, the outcome is children, and the immense love they have for each other is shared with the children that God gives them.
The collect refers to the couple as a “union you have created.” Every marriage is a miracle and an example of the providence of God. Over the years, the bride and groom have met countless people at school, activities, work and social gatherings, and they enter countless relationships as classmates, teammates, co-workers or friends. Some relationships are superficial. Others are deep and meaningful. Some are fleeting. Others last for a long time. Then, after meeting and knowing so many people, that one special person appears. It might be love at first sight. It might take a while for a friendship to blossom into an authentic, deep and abiding love, the kind of love the two eventually decide to share for a lifetime. God placed them together, gave them their love for each other, and caused their love to grow. It is a union that God created.
The collect concludes, “may it be kept safe by your assistance.” This petition builds upon the earlier request to uphold the marriage. It acknowledges the somber truth that the couple’s world is not safe. Peter sounds the alarm, “The devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Pt 5:8). The Catechism teaches that marriages are “threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation” (No. 1607). The prayer is a reality check, even on their joyful wedding day, that tests and obstacles are looming down the road. The prayer invokes “your assistance.” God is a rock of refuge, a shield (Ps 18:3), and a sure defense, and if the couple will turn to God in their times of trouble, with the grace that God supplies, they will be kept safe.
Father Van Sloun is the director of clergy personnel for the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis. This column is part of a series on the sacrament of marriage.
