A fully unified heart is rare. There are a multitude of idols and hiding places for the human heart. It is dizzying and disorienting. And yet, I must admit, it makes everything appear easier.
If one religion or philosophy ceases to provide a harbor from the anxieties of the world, another can be found. Or perhaps, the same belief system is held onto with a suffocating grip and a diminishing sense of hope. Maybe there is no point in understanding what happens in this life. If that is the case, then does it truly matter what one does? If this life is incomprehensible and just chaos, then we are left to our own devices, to pick out the path, the truth that best suits our tastes.
How easy. How sad.
Recently, a wise priest preached about how miserable it is to live a divided life, one in which your heart is given to many separate pursuits, leading to different destinations. I can attest to this. In many ways, I have looked to the finite in this world to satisfy an infinite desire. Not trusting that one truth could be deep enough or wide enough to encapsulate all my troubles and questions, I did not entrust my heart to God as fully as I could. I set up my safety nets through academic prowess, popularity and professional achievement.
When I went off to college, I realized that something had to change. Though I didn’t party, I was still separating myself from God’s love by pursuing excellence apart from him. I was a firm believer that personal success, as quantified by paychecks and certificates, was something to be pursued at all costs and that the anxiety I felt was an acceptable price to pay. I let myself answer the questions I had when the storms of life picked up, and my heart became increasingly restless and dissatisfied. I soon realized that it was because the Lord was calling me to have a heart undivided in devotion to him. I could not pursue anything apart from him and still have it be “good.” I could not have a shallow devotion. This is when I started to better appreciate the depth of the Church as a harbor for the human soul.
Like the man who builds his house on rock, the faith that is passed down by the Catholic Church can withstand the winds of the world and not be shaken. The tradition and teachings of the Church do not strip human life of its mystery. Because there is such a richness to the Catholic faith, it provides one with the opportunity to understand life coherently. It affords the chance of being an individual with unique desires and struggles who is still able to travel along the path of sanctity.
Kruc, 22, is a senior at the University of Minnesota Twin Cities majoring in human physiology. When not helping at St. Lawrence, the Newman Center on campus, she often enjoys playing piano, slowly drinking a cup of coffee over a good book and going for morning runs. Though more infrequent, hiking and swing dancing are also ways she loves to spend her time.
