The Catholic Spirit’s former editor-in-chief (Maria Wiering) asked me to write for the “Why I am Catholic” series back in September. Although honored, I really thought there were better candidates than me. When she (Wiering) left to pursue her career elsewhere, I thought maybe I was off the hook. But in taking the request to prayer, I realized this was a wonderful opportunity for me to explore my faith life. Though, I did end up more in the camp of “Why I am STILL Catholic” and found that it is all because of God.
I was raised Catholic and as a child, assumed everyone was Catholic. (Turns out, they are not.) Early on, I was taught that God loved me (thank you, Sister Theresa Marie). That was the foundation I built my faith on because for the rest of my life I would lean into that love.
Statistically, I probably should have fallen into the “lost” category of Catholics. My six siblings left the Church early on and I experienced plenty of logical reasons to become just another “fallen away” Catholic. Disappointed, discouraged and disillusioned, I could have walked away had it not been for the “nagging” belief that no matter what, God loved me. Nagging, because God was relentless in his pursuit of me. To me, the Church taught all the right things, but my experience was that not a lot of people followed those teachings. In fact, quite the opposite. In my world, there was not much in the way of kindness and consideration and truly little in the way of hope. In my head, I separated God from the Church early on and my personal faith life always depended and relied on this “bigger” version of God.
The reason I am Catholic today is simply because of God’s persistence. I believe in his presence in the Eucharist. I still have the God of my childhood who just never let me go. Church is where I am both figuratively and literally fed. God remains my constant source of comfort and care. The Eucharist and my ongoing, lengthy and sincere conversations with God were and are what keep me going to Church. My prayer life is rich, and he answers my prayers — albeit not always how I think they should be answered. I have a healthy respect for his will, even though I sometimes think I know better.
He seems determined to use me — even through the worst times of my life. He helped me sort through and find where he was amid all the chaos. Perhaps, I continued to be Catholic because in my trials and tribulations he showed me both patience and the graces of sacrifice. I learned the ability to function within dysfunction, and to forgive even when there were no apologies. While the earthly Church experiences turmoil and shortcomings, I know that the Church has struggled throughout history. Our current struggles in the Catholic Church are more contemporary, but still do not erase the knowledge of his gift to us all. His promise of everlasting life continues to give me the courage to keep taking leaps of faith. I willingly will defend the Church only because of him. Within every family there is turmoil, heartache and betrayal, even in this family we call Church.
So, my faith is quite simple. God loves me and has promised me eternity. He is the only author of hope I answer to. I cannot earn my way into heaven, but I can try to continue to live with God as my navigator. He has not and will not let me go.
Asp, 67, is the parish business administrator at Our Lady of Lourdes in Minneapolis. She has four adult sons and likes to read, sketch, cook, sing, sew and spend time with friends and family. She spends a lot of time in prayer and reflection and journals daily.
“Why I am Catholic” is an ongoing series in The Catholic Spirit. Want to share why you’re Catholic? Submit your story in 300-500 words to CatholicSpirit@archspm.org with “Why I Am Catholic” in the subject line.
