Thinking back on Evelyn Waugh’s famous Book Three title in “Brideshead Revisited,” I am Catholic because like “a twitch upon the thread,” God gently calls me and protects me when I need it most.
On Jan. 5, 2023, my 26-year-old son, Christopher, who was diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder and struggled with alcohol, took his last breath. After abruptly falling ill, he required CPR twice before the ambulance reached the hospital. Since that time, he hadn’t opened his eyes or moved, save for distinct shudders in his face and body at the exact moment the priest put oil on his forehead when administering the anointing of the sick.
After praying a final Hail Mary as a family over his body, I intensely wanted to stay with my son. But God had other plans for me. It is through this experience that I can tell you why I am Catholic: One, I chose this religion for myself and my children; two, having Mary in my life has helped me immensely; and three, asking saints for intercessory prayers has drawn me close to Jesus when at my lowest.
Exposure to Catholicism, after my baptism and parents’ divorce, mainly consisted of my grandmothers taking me to Mass and teaching me the rosary. Not long after I gave birth to Christopher, I distinctly recall God pulling on my thread as I looked at my newborn baby and knew I needed to raise my children Catholic. Soon after, I completed the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults — now known as the Order of Christian Initiation of Adults — and entered full communion with the Church.
When I felt alone and lost after my son died, I related to Mary through the rosary. She also had lost her son. Through prayer I came to understand that God had called my son home. Mary knew my needs, and God sent condolences from family, friends and even strangers touched by my son’s story, which we posted on the CaringBridge website.
Closer to home, one of my three daughters, who had previously declared she wasn’t Catholic, felt a twitch upon her thread when she started a Bible study with classmates. Similarly, our oldest daughter began leading Bible study at college, and our youngest daughter has shown interest in attending a Catholic high school.
Although I needed support from many for my healing, I also needed the Church. Intercessory prayers to saints have now become commonplace for me and they bring graces and love from God. Last fall, the relics of St. Therese of Lisieux and her parents — Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin, patron saints of illness, mental illness, marriage and parenting — were at our church. How amazing for them to literally come to me. I believe it was another way God helped my husband and me be strong for our children and each other while dealing with the loss of our son.
Losing my son has been difficult but it has helped me see God’s presence in my life. Like a twitch upon a thread, he has reeled me in through my grandmothers, Mary and intercessory prayers to saints. Being Catholic has opened countless ways for God to show me love.
Ingham, 51, and her husband, David, are members of St. Therese in Deephaven. They have five children in addition to Christopher. Ingham has worked as a nurse practitioner, but since her son’s death, she has spent more time volunteering, solo backpacking and reading from a list of the top 100 novels.
