Sarah Kostick, a parishioner of St. Paul in Ham Lake and a self-proclaimed introvert, said she hates to admit that being in relationships with people is essential for being in a relationship with the Lord.
But in the Book of Genesis, Kostick points out, the Lord said it’s not good for man to be alone. To explore this further, Kostick turned to Greek philosopher Aristotle to define friendship.
Kostick explained Aristotle’s concept of three different types of friendship. The first two are friendships of utility and of pleasure.
“Most often, many of our relationships in life are that (friendships of utility and pleasure),” Kostick told Patrick Conley, host of the “Practicing Catholic” radio show in an episode set to air at 9 p.m. June 27 on Relevant Radio 1330 AM. “Virtuous friendship, which is the third type of friendship that he (Aristotle) defined, is based on something deeper, something more substantial. And I think in the Christian life that something more substantial is Christ and our pursuit of holiness and our relationship with him.”
As part of the body of Christ, people need one another, Kostick said. This necessity of friendship, she believes, makes people better.
“We really do need relationship(s) and ultimately virtuous friendship,” Kostick said. “We’re not called to be friends with everyone. We’re called to love everyone, but we’re not necessarily called to be in a deep relationship or friendship with everyone.”
A virtuous friendship, Kostick explained, can be measured by how long you know someone, but also by who you are around that person and who that person is while around you.
“What is the goal of that friendship?” Kostick said. “Some of our relationships in our lives are going to be utility and pleasure. They’re the people in your sports teams or whatever. And those are good, and those are beautiful. They can be a springboard into true friendship. But they often stay there. A virtuous friendship will take the next step. What is the goal? Is my goal to help this person become a saint and is their goal to help me to become a saint?”
Kostick said that good, holy friendships are gifts from the Lord.
“I think it’s really important to be intentional,” Kostick said. “Spend the time, but also just be explicit with our intentions.”
To hear more from Kostick about virtuous friendships, tune into “Practicing Catholic,” which repeats at 1 p.m. June 28 and 2 p.m. June 29.
Also on the program, Anne Ricci — the director of client services for Guiding Star Wakota, a pregnancy resource center in West St. Paul — shares how her faith, family and commitment to the pro-life movement shapes her work. And Deacon Kris Ringwall explores how the natural world invites people into deeper love.
Produced by Relevant Radio and the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis, “Practicing Catholic” can be heard after it has aired at archspm.org/faith-and-discipleship/practicing-catholic or choose a streaming platform at Spotify for Podcasters.
