The liturgical prayers offered during the celebration of the sacrament of marriage reveal the Church’s theology and understanding of the sacrament. The Solemn Blessing offered over the couple before the dismissal is in three parts and imparts a powerful final message (Roman Missal, 1030; Order of Celebrating Marriage, No. 77, pg. 38).
The first invocation begins, “May God the eternal Father keep you of one heart in love.” The goal for marriage is oneness in love. This oneness is patterned on the relationship between Jesus and his heavenly Father. Jesus explained, “The Father and I are one” (Jn 10:30), “the Father loves me” (Jn 15:9), and he in turn loved his Father. In a world filled with conflict and division, Jesus deeply longed for unity and fervently prayed, “that they may all be one, as you, Father, are in me and I in you” (Jn 17:21). His prayer was answered when the early Christian community “was of one heart” (Acts 4:32), and his prayer will be answered again when the newly married couple is of one heart in love.
The first invocation continues, “that the peace of Christ may dwell in you.” Jesus told his disciples, “My peace I give to you” (Jn 14:27). His peace is not like the world’s peace, the absence of fighting, a sense of humor, or a good mood, but a genuine inner peace that comes when a person obeys the commandments and Gospel teaching, follows the guidance of the Holy Spirit, freely lays down one’s life for one’s spouse, and gives generously without counting the cost. The indwelling of Christ happens through faith, truth, kind words, good deeds, regular prayer and the frequent reception of the sacraments.
The first invocation concludes, “and abide always in your home.” Love and peace are not only to fill each spouse individually, but they are to permeate their home. They are to be a house church. The head of the house is God. The house rules are God’s laws. Christ abides where he is welcomed and warmly embraced.
The second invocation begins, “May you be blessed in your children.” A pregnancy, the birth of a child, and a new life is a miracle, and it is an incredible blessing for a mother and father to participate in God’s ongoing work of creation. Parents love their children, and it is a great blessing when the children reciprocate with their obedience, respect, cooperation and kindness. Parents are blessed in their children when they stay in close contact with them when they become adults and assist them in their old age.
The second invocation continues, “May you have solace in your friends.” A faithful friend is sturdy shelter, a treasure beyond price, and a life-saving remedy (Sir 6:14,15,16). It is a rich blessing to have companions on the journey of life, help when it is hard to manage, and encouragement when feeling low.
The second invocation concludes, “May you enjoy true peace with everyone.” Peace is characterized by mutual respect and harmony. It is the ideal and a lofty goal. St. Paul has practical words of advice: “If possible, on your part, live at peace with all” (Rom 12:18).
The third invocation is, “May you be witnesses in the world to God’s charity, so that the afflicted and needy who have known your kindness may one day receive you thankfully into the eternal dwelling of God.” The blessing envisions a group at the gates of heaven comprised of everyone that the couple helped over the course of their marriage. If the couple was stingy and helped only a few, the welcoming committee will be small, but if the couple has been generous and helped many, there will be a large and friendly crowd enthusiastically waiting at their arrival and eager to show them to their dwelling place in the heavenly mansion.
Father Van Sloun is the director of clergy personnel for the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis. This column is part of a series on the sacrament of marriage.
